750 Words

I have some strengths and I have some weaknesses. I would say that I have an average amount of both. I feel like I have a pretty good grasp on things that I am good at and things that I am not so great at. One of the things I’m not great at is being consistent with my writing. A point in case, look at my entries on this blog. They go back quite a way and yet, they aren’t super consistent! I have accepted this, but it is also something that I want to work on changing. Which is why I have some really exciting news. Just a few days ago I passed the mark of having written 100,000 words on my personal online journal! That feels like a really big landmark until you see that I have been a member since mid-2016. But! I am currently on a 31-day writing streak! That is the most exciting part of this for me. I don’t know how long this streak will last, but I am really trying to keep it up.

Bragging about me working on my weaknesses wasn’t the entire purpose of me writing this blog entry. I wanted to share with you the website I use. I really really really love it. I am going to share some screen captures to explain why I like it so much.

7     1) 750words.com. It is online, but it is private. You have options to share it, but I never have, and I don’t plan on ever sharing. It costs $5 a month, which isn’t free, but for me, it’s worth it!

2     2) I can type a lot faster than I can write. I know that writing by hand is better than typing, but for now, this method is getting me to do the work. Maybe at some point I will migrate to pen and paper, but for now this is helping me to be consistent.

3        3) I use this website to do stream of consciousness writing. Whatever is on my mind, or going through my brain, comes out. And that, for me, is really beneficial. Sometimes I don’t realize what I am thinking until I’ve written it, or really spent some time meditating, so this provides a daily natural way to keep my thoughts in my awareness.

Now, for those screenshots.

Some things here to notice: It keeps a monthly log of how many words and days I’ve completed. (I went back and captured the 24^th of April – the day I crossed 100,000 words – that’s why it says I’ve completed 28 days even though it’s the 24^th of April). You get fun little badges when you accomplish things. Most recently I earned the 100,000 word badge (three birds), and the 30 in a row (maybe that’s an albatross?)! Fun little gamey things.

It graphs your typing. You can see on this graph, that at around 9 minutes I either took a little break or was trying to figure out where to go with my thoughts. The same at 11 minutes, 16, 19, and 23. But, it took me 25 minutes, with an overall average of 30 words per minute. It keeps track of your distractions (breaks over 3 minutes), and it doesn’t save, let you be done with that day until you’ve crossed the 750-word mark. You can see that I got 755 words that day.

You can see it keeps track of your total word count. It tells you your record for fasted entry. That day where I did it in 7 minutes, I was in a hurry and copied and pasted in a blog I was working on and typed a few more quick thoughts. I average around 19-24 minutes. My word record (for one day) is 846 – not sure what I was worked up about THAT day! Then it tells you how many days you’ve done overall, and your longest streak. I am proud of both of those numbers!

I love this part. First, Mom, there was no swearing, so I got a “G” rating. Phew. But, it then tells you what your writing was about that day. As you can see here, I was mostly sad and mostly concerned about eating and drinking. You know what? I think this was on the day that I was feeling upset that Thailand banned all alcohol sales through the end of the month!   ; )   But you can see by both pie charts that it keeps track of all the emotions and topics in your writing. I don’t always find this 100% accurate. It uses metadata and so if you type the word, “happy” it will assume that you are happy. But, maybe you were being sarcastic and saying, “I am sooooo happy that I have to wear facemasks everywhere I go!” It doesn’t get that. So, not 100% accurate. But, I still find this very valuable as a reflection tool going forward.

I really like these graphs too. Introverted or Extraverted, Positive or Negative, Uncertain or Certain, and Thinking or Feeling? And then, your time orientation, primary sense, and Us and Them. I don’t use that bottom row as much, other than the time orientation (helps me to know if I’m dwelling behind or getting too far ahead of myself).

So, there you have it! You can try it for free for 30 days. If you love it, then you can join after those 30 days. I highly recommend it!

The F Word

An unrelated picture of a rice field in Chiang Rai, Thailand

 "Schweeeet! That is Schweet! Everything is Schweet!" I used to say that. I don't remember where I picked it up, or how long I said it for, but I remember I thought it, and I, were so cool. Instead of "sweet," which normies say, I would add the “sch” sound, "schweet." It had a ring to it that I really loved. I'm actually a little embarrassed by that now. But, since I work with teenagers all the time, I recognize it as totally normal, and weird, teenage behavior.

I don't know when I stopped saying it. I don't remember if I purposely decided to stop using it, or if I just did. But, over the years, I can think of several other words or phrases that I had to choose to stop using. Either they were annoying, inappropriate, or I just caught myself saying it too often.

Well, I'm actively working on eliminating a word from my vocabulary again. I'll tell you what it is soon. But first, let me tell you why I want to stop using it.

This word is a "feeling" word. But, it is just about the vaguest feeling word ever. I notice that I use it in place of other, more specific feeling words. And, I’ve observed a lot of people doing the exact same thing. Actually, I think that most of the time, maybe 80% of the time that this word is used, it is replacing the word "ANGRY." But anger is bad, and scary, and TOO MUCH. So, I use this vague word instead.

Do you know what it is?

Frustrated!

Did you guess, correctly?

The definition of frustration is: "The feeling of being upset or annoyed, especially because of inability to change or achieve something."

And you know what? That's a good word to use sometimes. I think I probably feel frustrated a lot. But, I don't think I feel frustrated as often as I say the word. A lot of times I probably need to say, “That made me angry.” Or, “I feel stuck.” Or possibly even, “I don’t know what that made me feel, but it wasn’t good.”

I am working on being more precise with the words that I use. And, that means that I don’t want to use the word frustrated, unless I know for sure that I am FRUSTRATED!!!

Art:Worship

The other night I got to participate in a night of “Worship Through Art.” I am not the best artist. However, on the occasions that I can get past the narrative that “I can’t paint, or draw” I usually have a great time trying to create art. Add in the element of making it an act of worship – using my creativity to try to express my love of God – and it’s one of my favorite things.

So I showed up, sat down, prayed that I could worship through my art, and tried to get started. But, there were a lot of distractions. It was a conference that I was providing some counseling for, so I got asked a question or two, and a friend that I had made sat down next to me and started talking – not knowing that I’m more of a quiet, introspective artist.

But, I put the pastel to the paper and started going for it. For about 5 minutes I just went for it. And, let me tell you… Nothing! I had nothing. I was trying to hide my disappointment and was trying to figure out how to move seats without being rude, when the inspiration showed up.

6 years old, long blonde hair, and a spunky attitude. “What are you drawing?” The tone that was used was one of bewilderment. As any good counselor would do, I turned the question back around on my visitor, “What does this look like to you?” She studied it for a good long while and told me what she saw.

Then she told me how I could improve what I had drawn. “Maybe you could help me with it.” Those were the magic words – help me, she did. As her developing fine motor skills were whirling she walked me through all the finer points of who she was, where she lived, and how to correctly draw a palm tree.

“Are you mad that I’m helping you?” She asked after a couple minutes of completely changing the artistic direction of my worship.
“No! I asked for your help! And you’re doing a great job!”

She stopped drawing, checked my face for honesty, smiled to herself, and went back at it.

A few minutes later her mother called her away, so I thanked her for her help, and she was gone. For a few minutes I sat looking at the masterpiece that we had created and decided that it was done. My other friend was still talking so I found an appropriate moment to excuse myself and I got up and walked, by myself, down to the beach. I was bummed that I hadn’t had the chance to worship through art. I had enjoyed the interaction with my 6-year-old friend, but I had been hoping for some sort of breakthrough – or something.

Watching waves, listening to their comfort, has always been a favorite thing of mine. And as I got over my disappointment, as I started to relax, a new thought emerged.

Maybe letting that 6-year-old help me with my art was a way that I could worship. Maybe that is my art. 

Yeah, I think so.

Hong Kong 100k

100 kilometers and 20,000 feet of climbing up and then back down again. Sounds miserable. But, it’s in Hong Kong! And you get a free entry! Right. So, I ran up and down the mountains in Chiang Mai a lot, and then flew to Hong Kong. 

“I’m gonna come to Hong Kong for your race.” I thought my friend Tim, who lives in Wyoming, was joking, but he wasn’t. So, when I got in on Friday morning, there he was. I love seeing new places, and Tim and I get along really well, so it was really nice time together. We saw quite a lot, while also leaving plenty to go back and see “next time.” I appreciate Tim so much for coming out and helping with the race, but it was also just great to hang.

I started the race slowly and from the beginning I felt really good. I enjoyed the first 4 or 5 miles and once the crowd thinned out a little bit I decided to start working. I hit a low point around mile 29, but it only lasted for a mile or two. It was brought on by direct sunlight and having to use my hands (and knees) to get up one hill. Besides that everything worked like clockwork. Tim met me at 5 aid stations and gave me my tailwind and whatever else had my fancy at that time. 

The course was mostly either up or down. Not much flat. If it was going up, we were climbing up stairs made out of stones placed there by design (not God’s). If it was going down, we were descending stairs likewise made of uneven, not always steady, stone. I had practiced some on stairs, but not enough. The technique of stair climbing/descending is different than just running up or down a hill. The beating that the stairs hand your body is more dramatic than regular dirt trail. And, the concentration it takes to navigate the best path up or down a set of uneven stairs accumulates over time.

Besides the one blip I told you about earlier, I felt strong and smooth all the way until mile 48. I saw Tim at that aid station and told him I wasn’t feeling so hot. He used some psychologist’s trick and I left feeling buoyed. A couple miles later was when I saw a porcupine. Hong Kong has wild porcupines. Seriously. And they’re huge.

As mile 55 rolled around, my body, and my brain, decided they had done enough. And I stopped running. There isn’t a good way to explain this “Blowing up” other than to say – I just couldn’t. I tried every trick in the book. But my legs were beat up and my brain was tired. So, I ran a little, really really slowly, but mostly I just walked it in. “Keep moving forward…” I had hit nearly all of my time goals up to that last section. Then, I didn’t.

 I finished in 32^nd out of 465 finishers (622 starters) and in 16 hours and 15 minutes. This one will go in the books as the hardest course I’ve ever ran. I’ve done a lot of these races now and everyone is new and presents new challenges. This race was all about managing the stairs. I was happy with the finish. I was super impressed by the Hong Kong runners. And I was so grateful for Tim’s support and accompaniment.

I don’t think I walked away with any big life lessons. But, as with every race, it was hard, and it’s always nice knowing that you can do hard things.

Thank you for all of you that followed along throughout the day. We were required to carry a phone, so while I didn’t see most of your messages, I did feel the notification buzz, and that was always encouraging.

Heading Home

It’s been a good summer. A lot has happened. It’s been busy with work, studying, visiting people, and overall just enjoying being in Ohio. Ohio is such a great place to call home. I am proud to do so, and will probably always feel like it’s home.

But, now, it’s time to head home.

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That doesn’t quite make sense - the having two homes thing. But, it’s my life now - one of the job descriptions of being a missionary.

That seems strange too. The missionary part.

Life has a way of sneaking up and not being anything that you can quite put your hands on.

So, we lean into it, we fight against it, and if we’re lucky, we take naps so we can do it all over again.

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I’ve started packing.

I’m headed back to Thailand to resume my work as a counselor to missionaries. I’ll be doing most of the same things as I was when I was there previously - doing my best to provide hope and healing for missionaries, and their children, in Southeast Asia.

The last time that I packed for Thailand, I did so without ever having been to Thailand. I didn’t really know anyone there, and I only had guesses as to what my work would look like. I was so excited about all of the possibilities.

This time, as I’m packing, I’m doing so having spent the better part of a year in Thailand, I know a lot of great people, and I have a pretty good idea of what the job will look like.

And, I’m more excited this time around.

Several people have asked me, “When did you know that you wanted to go back?” I have a vivid memory. There was a day, in a staff meeting where a particular item was being discussed, that I felt needed. And I felt wanted. I hope that doesn’t sound arrogant. It just felt like I was in the right place, and those around me felt the same way. That’s when I knew that I wanted to be in Thailand, in Chiang Mai, and at Cornerstone.

So, here we go!

P.S. All of the counselors at Cornerstone, myself included, raise their own financial support. I am still looking for some friends who would be interested in helping me to finish off raising my support. If you are interested in coming alongside of me and my work you can follow this link to do so: https://paraclete.net/people/paraclete-associates/david-emch/

Everything

Everything, it seems,

is like every other beautiful thing.

Though there are some mysteries

unlike any other mystery.

And in each one of these

individual beauties

Your essence is the common

element - making each one

both unique and akin.

Running is like life, and life is like a box of chocolates. Missing home is like missing being gone, and missing you is like a forgotten simile. So often we can only describe things by using other things as a point of reference. 

Heart - too big

Oh my heart, my heart

It’s too big

For its still drawn to shiny things

and deep eyes.

Distracted by the temporary

and the partial.

Clinging to the hopes stored

in jars made by other men

Cut away that extra

So I can love

You.

The Lord your God will circumcise your heart and the hearts of your children, SO that you may love him with all of heart and with all your soul, and live. Deut 30:6