Spanish Lessons

I’m kicking myself. News alert: I’m not so bright. Why wasn’t I spending my free time, back home, with my nose in a Spanish book? There is obviously no substitution for immersion, which I think I’m getting in spades, but still. Voy – Va – Vamos – Fui – Fue – Ire… You know, those things that I should know by heart.

Scene: 3 kids and one 1 guero (means white guy), sitting at a table, eating lunch. The guero looks happy but confused. He thinks one of the children just called another one a name, but he’s not sure. The guero decides to become involved in the conversation and divert the negative energy.

            Guero: Como es tu escuela?

            Nice kid: Como fue la escuela.

            Other kids: *laughing

            Guero: Que?

Nice Kid: Como fue la escuela.   

Guero: Oh! Si! Como fue la escuela?! *Guero looks pleased with himself

            Nice kid: Bien.

            Guero: *thumbs up. Mucho Gustas.

Welcome to my life. Here’s the good thing. I’m refusing to be afraid of failing. At this point in my life, failing with flair is my best attribute. So, 14 days in and I can already see improvement in my Spanish. I’m not bragging about it because I just got done crying about it.

I’m just saying.

So I’m a little stuck. I want to interact meaningfully with the kids. Instead, I feel like I’m watching the party from the outside. Sometimes I try to crash the party (“Hey! Whatcha doing!?”), but all I have are my dance skills, and everything I know I learned from Napoleon Dynamite.

But, I’m trying to remind myself, love has so little to do with words. That’s the trap that I get caught in often times. I want to speak love, because it’s the easy way. And now, I’ve painted myself into a corner where I am nearly unable to speak love. So I need to find a way to show and communicate love without words.  This is a good thing. A challenging, but healthy thing. And I remember, this is probably one of the most important things I need to learn. To love. I’ll close with a fragment of a poem by Christopher Poindexter:

“I know my purpose here on this frightened planet is to make people feel loved, and when I become too proud and tired for that, give my bones to the vultures.”

Oh, Hello!

I wasn’t going to do this, but here I am. I had a bunch of people ask me, and I kept saying, “No, not this time.” But I have been worn down. Now be prepared to be let down. I’m blogging. I’ve oft thought that anyone who pens a public word believes they have something to say that should be heard. That is probably still true. The hope is that I’ll adequately convey what should be heard.

So, for today, I’ll just give you the rough details of what I’m doing down here. Inspiration will come in a couple days. Like I said earlier, I hope.

First off, I am in Aguascalientes, Mexico. Aguascalientes is both a state (1 of 31) and the capitol of the similarly named state. I’m in the capitol city and I bring the population up to a whopping 1,237,676. I’m glad this isn’t a school paper and that I don’t have to cite my source. It was Wikipedia. If you were to look at a map of Mexico and point to the geographic center of the country, you would literally squash me with your finger. Careful, please.

I’m living in the first floor apartment of the boy’s dorm. That boy’s dorm is on the campus of an orphanage. I’m living at an orphanage. I’m two floors directly below my sister, my brother-in-law, and their 4 kids (my 3 nephews and 1 niece). In between us, and honestly all around us, are the boys that live here. Next door is the girl’s dorm, the director’s house, the cafeteria/meeting room, and the offices (along with several other apartments). The campus is constantly bustling with the activity of 20 (give or take, depending on the government’s whim) kids between the ages of 5 and 18.

I got here a week ago and I am planning on staying about 6 months. I’m here to finish my schooling. In case you didn’t know, I am several months away from completing the coursework for my master’s in professional counseling. When I say I’m here to finish my school, I really mean, I am here to do school and put what I am learning to good use.  The hope is that I will be able to work with the kids a bit. As you can imagine, 20 orphans - 20 painful pasts.

At church yesterday a couple of the girls from the orphanage walked by and I was struck by a thought that broke my heart. Those sweet girls were thrown away. In some of their cases that is almost literally what happened. Their families didn’t want them anymore (more about this another day). And so, these children were tossed to the side. I am here, along with the other staff, to let these children know that they are loved, that they are special, and that they are somebody.

Details. There are so many details. I don’t even know where to start, so I’m going to stop now. I’ll just say this: Life here is busy, and constant. I’ll try to blog fairly consistently. But, as fair warning, the only thing I’m good at being consistent with is my morning constitutional. I went there. I’ve been hanging out with 12-year-olds the entire last week.

Oh, shoot. I meant to say this. A lot of my time is being taken up with trying to become conversational in Spanish. If 0 is “No Spanish,” and 10 is “Fluent,” I’m a 2.4. So, yeah, a lot of work to do there. Tonight I’m even going to try to “Learn Spanish Whilst You Sleep.” It’s a thing. I don’t know if it’s a real thing, I’ll let you know manana. Oh, hey! Look at that!