I'm nearly 35. And to this day, I don't pop a butterscotch candy into my mouth without thinking of my Grandma. She loved those things. But more than her love of those candies, I think about her dentures. I remember asking her,
"Grandma, why do you have fake teeth?"
With a glimmer in her eye, her response was, "I liked candy too much when I was a little girl."
That raised a lot of important questions. How much candy is too much? What if you space the candy out evenly over a long time? Will that still cause me to lose my teeth? She would just smile and dig another butterscotch out of her sweater pocket for me.
My other Grandma lived in a tiny two-bedroom condo. When my seven-member family would descend on St. Louis and stay at her condo, it was packed to the gills and was bustling with her and our excitement. She was up making breakfast before I was awake, she was up when I went to bed, and she packed our days with good things. To this day, if someone asks what my favorite city is, my default answer is still St. Louis. But it was never St. Louis that felt like a second home, it was my Grandma.
Both of my Grandmas passed away within the last three weeks, and that has left me feeling sad. Not sad for them, they were both ready. But sad for myself, and sad for my family.
I've had some good time to reminisce about my Grandmas with both sides of my families. And while there are memories that are only mine, and there are memories that are only other's, all of the memories have similar themes.
As I think back on my lifetime with both of my Grandmas, I can't remember one single time that really stands out as THE defining moment when they made a difference in my life or the ONE important conversation that impacted my life.
Instead, it was simply how they lived their lives that made the difference.
I think that each of us will have moments where we are the people who spark a defining moment in someone else's life, or when we are the person with the right words.
But, for the most part, our job is to live our lives in such a way.
In such a way that people know that they are loved. In such a way that people know that they are good and good enough. In such a way that people are left better for having rubbed shoulders with us.
When I was younger I wanted to be someone important. Now I just want to be someone who bleeds love and kindness. Let other people be famous and important, I just want to be me.
And a maybe just a little bit like my Grandmas.
"Grandma, why do you have fake teeth?"
With a glimmer in her eye, her response was, "I liked candy too much when I was a little girl."
That raised a lot of important questions. How much candy is too much? What if you space the candy out evenly over a long time? Will that still cause me to lose my teeth? She would just smile and dig another butterscotch out of her sweater pocket for me.
My other Grandma lived in a tiny two-bedroom condo. When my seven-member family would descend on St. Louis and stay at her condo, it was packed to the gills and was bustling with her and our excitement. She was up making breakfast before I was awake, she was up when I went to bed, and she packed our days with good things. To this day, if someone asks what my favorite city is, my default answer is still St. Louis. But it was never St. Louis that felt like a second home, it was my Grandma.
Both of my Grandmas passed away within the last three weeks, and that has left me feeling sad. Not sad for them, they were both ready. But sad for myself, and sad for my family.
I've had some good time to reminisce about my Grandmas with both sides of my families. And while there are memories that are only mine, and there are memories that are only other's, all of the memories have similar themes.
As I think back on my lifetime with both of my Grandmas, I can't remember one single time that really stands out as THE defining moment when they made a difference in my life or the ONE important conversation that impacted my life.
Instead, it was simply how they lived their lives that made the difference.
I think that each of us will have moments where we are the people who spark a defining moment in someone else's life, or when we are the person with the right words.
But, for the most part, our job is to live our lives in such a way.
In such a way that people know that they are loved. In such a way that people know that they are good and good enough. In such a way that people are left better for having rubbed shoulders with us.
When I was younger I wanted to be someone important. Now I just want to be someone who bleeds love and kindness. Let other people be famous and important, I just want to be me.
And a maybe just a little bit like my Grandmas.
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