I'm okay, thank you for asking!

“I’m okay, thank you for asking!”

“I’m okay, thanks!”

“I’m okay…”

“I’m OK!”

“Why do you keep asking? I’m okay.”

Why do I run from my brokenness? Because let me assure you, I am broken. Maybe I run from it because my brokenness looks frivolous next to yours, or hers. Or maybe I run from it because to engage it makes me afraid that I will lose all semblance of control. Or, most likely, I run from it because I am unwilling to admit to myself, on a deep level, that I am broken.

“I’m broken, thank you for asking!”

“I’m broken, thanks!”

“I’m broken…”

“I’m BROKEN!”

“Why do you keep asking? I’m broken.”

I’m getting more and more comfortable with this idea. I’m learning to be okay with not being okay. There is freedom in there somewhere.

“Unless a grain of wheat falls into the earth and dies,

it remains alone;

but if it dies, it bears much fruit.”

As long as we are all okay, or, as long as we all pretend we are okay, we won’t be able to connect with each other on anything other than a surface level. I don’t connect with your “okayness.” I connect with how you are broken – like me.

So, yeah, I’m okay. But, I’m also not okay. How about you?